A Letter to My 19 Year Old Self
To My 19 Year Old Self,
You would never imagine where your life has gone in 5 short years. Everything that you wished for is coming true. Remember those dreams that once never seemed like reality? Well guess what, you will achieve them.
Do you remember sitting their questioning if a 4 year college and a medical degree was right for you. Do you remember the looks you received when you talked about quitting a UC. Guess what? You will be alright. Everything you have accomplished in these 19 years is preparing you for the future.
By being on ASB in high school, you will discover becoming a staff member for a club that will change your life in all the right directions. This club will bring you to magical lands for snowboarding including Copper, Big Sky, Steamboat and Winter Park. The leadership role will bring you to a mystical land on the Sacramento Delta for a trip called houseboats. Houseboats will change your life forever.
Do you remember the guy you dreamed about? The one who you knew would support and love you 110%. Well at 19 you met him, but you don’t realize it quite yet. Don’t be frustrated. Enjoy the moments and the friendship that builds between you. Its worth it! The friendship base has lead to the most amazing relationship in the world and in a few short months you will become his wife. This relationship has also lead to the most amazing daughter you could ever ask for. She is everything you dreamed about. She is spunky, happy, and sassy. She is the reason why you are pushing yourself now.
Do you remember getting looks from friends when you discussed your internship at the hospital? Well, guess what? That internship gave you more than any job could. It gave you the confidence to follow in your dreams. It allowed you to work in a hospital and experience life as a nurse. It allowed you to have direct patient care, to form relationships with doctors and nurses whose advice still is applicable today. By working in that hospital at all times of the day and night, it pushed you to obtain your EMT license when you moved back to Santa Barbara. This EMT license will open up so many doors and give you some of the best friends in the world. And for that, you are forever grateful.
Do you remember wanting a purpose? Well guess what? You found it. You have found the best charity in the world. A Walk On Water has given you more than you could ever expect. Although it may take away your sleep and sanity, you are the happiest at the events. The smiles that come from the athletes, families and volunteers makes it better. They have given you a family that means the world to you. A Walk on Water will be a main staple in your life.
Do you remember hating your roommates in the end? Guess what? Having those conflicts prepared you more for the real world than you will ever think possible. You learned how to tolerate people, how to appease the situation and how to not be complacent. It taught you to take a leap. A leap to Santa Barbara that taught you how to live on your own, taught you to go after your dreams of becoming a nurse, and it taught you that you are the main reason to your happiness. People will come in and out of your life. They are each there to teach a lesson and some stay in your life forever because there teachings will never be over.
I know at 19, the world seems scary. You will conquer that fear. You will end up traveling the world. You will go with one of your best friends to Australia for a month. You will take a greyhound bus from Cairns to Sydney and have the best time of your life. You will end up on a boat sailing the Croatian Islands with the love of your life. You both will end up road tripping from Croatia through Budapest, Vienna and Prague. Canada will become a second home to you because the love of your life is Canadian. You will travel with your family to Botswana at 6 months pregnant, and you will get to see Victoria Falls. You go to New Zealand with your mom for 2 weeks. You laugh and learn more about your connection than you ever thought possible. You will then travel with your little family to Belize. Don’t be afraid, go with the flow it will all work out and your travel dreams will come true.
At 19 I know it seems that you don’t have the world figured out but that is okay. Live in the moment. Smile, laugh and love your family and friends. The ones who matter most are still here 5 years later supporting you. They are your biggest cheerleaders. You will be halfway done with nursing school while being a full time mommy to a beautiful 7 month old daughter and 7 month old puppy. You will be an ER tech and you will have discovered your passion for pediatric emergency rooms. You will have moved to San Diego and be living with the one. You will have created this beautiful adventure. Enjoy the ride because the best is yet to come.
Your 24 year old self.